The letter read: 'You are being offered a position as a Blogger to review TV Ads. It sounds simple, and it could be, but I want brutal honesty.'
My first assignment was to review a new ad for a luggage company. The clip began and my first thought was 'Eww!'
The guy wasn't unattractive, but looked oily and unkempt. His shirt was too big and his jeans like an afterthought. I imagined he was just out of prison, but for some reason had no pants. The guard volunteered a pair of skinny jeans left by an inmate who had gained weight. The whole look was 'Eww!'
Whenever the commercial came on I called others to watch it and their main comment was the jeans. Whose jeans were those and why were they so low?
I wrote the blog , published it and went back to studying for my final exams. This new job paid me double of what I was being paid at my two previous crappy jobs. This could be great!
My phone vibrated while in class and I hoped it was a new assignment. It wasn't...
I reread the email. The company loved me , but the actor from the commercial I reviewed, wanted me dead.
They had pulled the blog comments he left, but sent them to me .
'Thanks bitch my first job and u get me fired watch ur back bitch'
Oh crap! I had to review a crazy!
School progressed and my blogs did too. There were commercials, not just new ones, that they decided they needed reviewed with my 'style'. The work began to encroach on my schooling though and I called for a day off once a week. It was granted.
I went to the Starbucks downtown, determined to catch up. The location was ideal for me. It had the perfect amount of white noise, bursts of laughter and an ever changing crowd. I wanted no conversation.
I finished assignment after assignment and sent them on to my professors. I was finished in time to have my own decaf latte and catch my breath. I looked around the restaurant and locked eyes with the actor from the commercial. He smirked.
My phone was on the bench seat next to me and I made a show of picking it up, for I could punch 911 before he could reach me.
He stood and a man in a suit stood with him. The suited man approached.
"Your publisher told us we could find you here after I explained that my client wanted to both thank you and apologize to you." I stared at him.
"For what? He stays over there for now!" I pointed to the actor.
"Jeremy was offered a role in the new prison break movie, a major role! It was due to your description of him in the luggage commercial." He handed me an email from a major movie studio.
"He can come over now." I smiled.
The actor approached, smiling, but looking still like an ex-con on the run. He continued to smile as he pulled an automatic out of his right pocket. I punched the send button on my phone as the first shot hit me. It was like being punched in the arm and then the second shot punched my right side. They both began to burn terribly and the last thing I heard was the actor... "So I can't act, huh?"
I awakened in the hospital with two gunshot wounds, luckily soft tissue only, but the agent was dead, as was the actor.
A disembodied voice spoke from the corner of the hospital room, "You're famous now." I tried to sit up, but winced and lay back down.
"Who are you?"
"Your boss and the idiot who told the actor and his agent where they could find you. I really am sorry for that." I nodded from my supine position.
A nurse walked in and showed me how to work the bed controls. I soon was eye level with the geeky Blog master. "Yeah, that was pretty stupid." I smirked. "Don't you know not to believe anything on the Internet?"
He shook his head. "I know, but it was so real! All the stuff was messenger delivered and had studio letter head and was so believable. I really am sorry and I will take care of all these bills and pay for days until you are on your feet again. I don't know how to help you catch up with school again though."
I groaned. "Damn! Well, I was caught up for about five minutes."
He walked toward me and handed me a newspaper. He opened it to the front page.
'Blogger/Critic Shot by Unhappy Actor' I read the article and nodded.
"At least I have a note for my professors!" I tried to laugh, but it was too painful, but the blog master guffawed and even snorted and then laughed harder. I just hugged my right side and laughed with him.
I also decided to give positives with my critiques, as well as negatives, in the future.
School progressed and my blogs did too. There were commercials, not just new ones, that they decided they needed reviewed with my 'style'. The work began to encroach on my schooling though and I called for a day off once a week. It was granted.
I went to the Starbucks downtown, determined to catch up. The location was ideal for me. It had the perfect amount of white noise, bursts of laughter and an ever changing crowd. I wanted no conversation.
I finished assignment after assignment and sent them on to my professors. I was finished in time to have my own decaf latte and catch my breath. I looked around the restaurant and locked eyes with the actor from the commercial. He smirked.
My phone was on the bench seat next to me and I made a show of picking it up, for I could punch 911 before he could reach me.
He stood and a man in a suit stood with him. The suited man approached.
"Your publisher told us we could find you here after I explained that my client wanted to both thank you and apologize to you." I stared at him.
"For what? He stays over there for now!" I pointed to the actor.
"Jeremy was offered a role in the new prison break movie, a major role! It was due to your description of him in the luggage commercial." He handed me an email from a major movie studio.
"He can come over now." I smiled.
The actor approached, smiling, but looking still like an ex-con on the run. He continued to smile as he pulled an automatic out of his right pocket. I punched the send button on my phone as the first shot hit me. It was like being punched in the arm and then the second shot punched my right side. They both began to burn terribly and the last thing I heard was the actor... "So I can't act, huh?"
I awakened in the hospital with two gunshot wounds, luckily soft tissue only, but the agent was dead, as was the actor.
A disembodied voice spoke from the corner of the hospital room, "You're famous now." I tried to sit up, but winced and lay back down.
"Who are you?"
"Your boss and the idiot who told the actor and his agent where they could find you. I really am sorry for that." I nodded from my supine position.
A nurse walked in and showed me how to work the bed controls. I soon was eye level with the geeky Blog master. "Yeah, that was pretty stupid." I smirked. "Don't you know not to believe anything on the Internet?"
He shook his head. "I know, but it was so real! All the stuff was messenger delivered and had studio letter head and was so believable. I really am sorry and I will take care of all these bills and pay for days until you are on your feet again. I don't know how to help you catch up with school again though."
I groaned. "Damn! Well, I was caught up for about five minutes."
He walked toward me and handed me a newspaper. He opened it to the front page.
'Blogger/Critic Shot by Unhappy Actor' I read the article and nodded.
"At least I have a note for my professors!" I tried to laugh, but it was too painful, but the blog master guffawed and even snorted and then laughed harder. I just hugged my right side and laughed with him.
I also decided to give positives with my critiques, as well as negatives, in the future.
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